Sometimes people do have secret that you somehow wanna let people know~~
But when you wanna let certain person know, how can it be called a secret neh?!
Is because that you dunno how to raise it to let that certain person and also because you dunno how to let that person know when it will be awkward to let that person to know as things are alr different between this two person.
But somehow somewhat somewhy, so I guess I'll just say my secret here ba^^
For the someone out there, I miss you...
And I sort of having alot of thoughts coming into my mind during the days that we were not together anymore...
The day when I say that, perhaps we should go our separate ways and maybe after 1 year later more if we were meant to be together, lets be together again...
Because...
You really love me alot that I dunno how to love you even more, that I feel so scared...
That you dun feel so loved anymore...
So what I did is to make you a very important person in my life...
I dunno if I did the right thing or not...
During the verge of breaking up...
I panicked, like I've nver panicked before...
I was so panicked that I wasn't thinking straight at all...
I was like, sigh, shall not elaborate anymore, haha
'soulmate' this word...
I somehow lost the importance of this word for certain time...
The very first time I start to fall in love in you, I told myself that i'm gonna be the one that will share your trouble, be there for you, listen to your problem, solve your problem and no matter what, always be there.
But no idea why...
I lose it...
The moment you walked of my life, I was devastated...
For the moment, I can feel like as though the time had stopped or rather rewind...
I still wanna say that...
I miss you every single day, every single night...
And I remember why the day I wanna you be my gf. ..
Because I wanna take care of you, I wanna love you and be loved by you and be the most happiest couple in this world.
Me filling up your imperfection and you filling up my imperfection.
So many so many up in my mind that even I dunno whether I should say or not to say...
So yeap, shall just leave it as it is ba...
Today went to khatib camp, from the cook house, where I could directly see your house, just made me miss you ultra ultra alot...
That my heart feel so pain for losing...
And losing such a amazing person like you is just a karma for me for not treasuring you by did so many wrong things, said so many rubbish stuffs, nonsensical stuffs...
Yeap, this is the few secret in my heart that shall not be a secret anymore from this instance anymore~~
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Occupied heart
Let's have a short blog post baa~~
Roughly about 1 and half year ago~~
One girl once occupied my heart and i was so wanting to be with her~~
But because of my recklessness and my jealousy took the best out of me~~
I hurt her, she stuck in my heart for quite some time and that time i felt horrible~~
Follow which, i met another girl...
She decided to be with me~~~
She made lots of effort in me and in us~~
Eventually she entered my heart and kicked out another one~~
But now, things change, she is now stucked in my heart....
And i'll definitely wun be able to find another girl who is able to kick her out of my heart...
Because she is just too awesome, too good to me that a dumbass like me who dun treasure her so much at all...
Which only began to treasure her after she's gone...
Roughly about 1 and half year ago~~
One girl once occupied my heart and i was so wanting to be with her~~
But because of my recklessness and my jealousy took the best out of me~~
I hurt her, she stuck in my heart for quite some time and that time i felt horrible~~
Follow which, i met another girl...
She decided to be with me~~~
She made lots of effort in me and in us~~
Eventually she entered my heart and kicked out another one~~
But now, things change, she is now stucked in my heart....
And i'll definitely wun be able to find another girl who is able to kick her out of my heart...
Because she is just too awesome, too good to me that a dumbass like me who dun treasure her so much at all...
Which only began to treasure her after she's gone...
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Breakdown
While talking to my friend regarding us, talking about the happy stuffs we had done.
I felt happy sharing about us with my friend.
But after that I suddenly break down, my heart suddenly gave way, and i went back to me bunk and hug my pillow with the strength I had.
And tears just burst out and wet my pillow, and i cried for about 10mins...
I always thought I can do it being strong, but I just suddenly breakdown...
Oh no...
I felt happy sharing about us with my friend.
But after that I suddenly break down, my heart suddenly gave way, and i went back to me bunk and hug my pillow with the strength I had.
And tears just burst out and wet my pillow, and i cried for about 10mins...
I always thought I can do it being strong, but I just suddenly breakdown...
Oh no...
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Life of a Army Boy
Decided to revive this blog like after 23454364574 days~~
Ha, just some random numbers of date la, which a special girl taught me~
7 months had past, and now i'm a sergeant alr, a Scout Recce Specialist.
Being a Scout/recce spec is a very tough and challenging vocation as we are consider heavy load vocation carrying loads of 25-40kg, which compared to BMT field pack which is about 7kg.
But going out on a mission is not the toughest part being a recce spec, but is handling the troopers.
Handling my troopers are another tough and challenging job as they are all bunch of street smart people, or even smarter than me.
They are very well better than me,which the difference is only in the knowledge and the rank.
Which give me a very hard handling them everyday.
Everyday facing them, is so suffocating and making me even afraid to talk to them which giving me no confidence or even depleting them.
Being in the camp, everyday is a stress day, have to be very careful of what ever word i said or whatever action i did, everyday is like a test,exam,PSLE,O'Level, or even taking diploma exam every single day...
One wrong word, one wrong action i've done will have ruin everything and the respect they had for me.
That is what i am going thru, but i nver give up, continue to do my job, which is what making me extremely mentally shag out every single day.
And this kind of thing is what I am going thru, not sure about the rest if same thing is happening to them, but the feeling is giving me is that, it's only happening to me~~
But it's alright
Everyday i will keep myself busy, let time pass by fast,so that i can faster sleep, and the day will be over.
So just repeat the cycle 5 times, and the next thing you know ~
BOOK OUT LO~
Booking out is the best thing i ever had and treasure in my NS, because i'll get to see my love one that nver leave me and continue to love me.
She's a awesome girl, and a very sweet one, or should i say, the sweetest ever in my entire life.
She's been with me for 389 days alr
Created a private blog just to motivate me every single day i'm inside camp, just for my NS life,
total of 240 posts and still continuing~
This is the kind of effort she have made for me~
And i start to think...
What have i done in return....
And i start to wonder...
I couldn't have a answer in my mind....
What i do is just cooking her meals once in a while, talk to her, and that's all???
Pumping her with my negativity, which she hates the most, she tolerated and even help me solve my problem.
This is how awesome she is~~
She is so important that she had alr occupied 40% of my life, she's my listening ear, my helper, my organizer, my planner, my reminder, my everything.
And if one day she would be gone...
I really dunno what i will do or what i will be...
And now many guys are attempting to snatch her away from me~~
And my mind is so confused,my heart is so fluttered...
And what the one guy had done to her, is making me so worry,angry, and lots of mixed feelings...
Things really feel so screwed up now~
Dear Lord,
Please help us to solve all problems.
Pretty please!
Ha, just some random numbers of date la, which a special girl taught me~
7 months had past, and now i'm a sergeant alr, a Scout Recce Specialist.
Being a Scout/recce spec is a very tough and challenging vocation as we are consider heavy load vocation carrying loads of 25-40kg, which compared to BMT field pack which is about 7kg.
But going out on a mission is not the toughest part being a recce spec, but is handling the troopers.
Handling my troopers are another tough and challenging job as they are all bunch of street smart people, or even smarter than me.
They are very well better than me,which the difference is only in the knowledge and the rank.
Which give me a very hard handling them everyday.
Everyday facing them, is so suffocating and making me even afraid to talk to them which giving me no confidence or even depleting them.
Being in the camp, everyday is a stress day, have to be very careful of what ever word i said or whatever action i did, everyday is like a test,exam,PSLE,O'Level, or even taking diploma exam every single day...
One wrong word, one wrong action i've done will have ruin everything and the respect they had for me.
That is what i am going thru, but i nver give up, continue to do my job, which is what making me extremely mentally shag out every single day.
And this kind of thing is what I am going thru, not sure about the rest if same thing is happening to them, but the feeling is giving me is that, it's only happening to me~~
But it's alright
Everyday i will keep myself busy, let time pass by fast,so that i can faster sleep, and the day will be over.
So just repeat the cycle 5 times, and the next thing you know ~
BOOK OUT LO~
Booking out is the best thing i ever had and treasure in my NS, because i'll get to see my love one that nver leave me and continue to love me.
She's a awesome girl, and a very sweet one, or should i say, the sweetest ever in my entire life.
She's been with me for 389 days alr
Created a private blog just to motivate me every single day i'm inside camp, just for my NS life,
total of 240 posts and still continuing~
This is the kind of effort she have made for me~
And i start to think...
What have i done in return....
And i start to wonder...
I couldn't have a answer in my mind....
What i do is just cooking her meals once in a while, talk to her, and that's all???
Pumping her with my negativity, which she hates the most, she tolerated and even help me solve my problem.
This is how awesome she is~~
She is so important that she had alr occupied 40% of my life, she's my listening ear, my helper, my organizer, my planner, my reminder, my everything.
And if one day she would be gone...
I really dunno what i will do or what i will be...
And now many guys are attempting to snatch her away from me~~
And my mind is so confused,my heart is so fluttered...
And what the one guy had done to her, is making me so worry,angry, and lots of mixed feelings...
Things really feel so screwed up now~
Dear Lord,
Please help us to solve all problems.
Pretty please!
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