The Day You Are Gone~~

Finally decided to start posting on my blog liao~~~

Recently i start to like a girl since last 3 months not long after i had seen her~
The reason why i like her is because not of any stupid crush, but really true feeling towards her and what my heart is telling me~
I really do like her and want to really start a relationship with her as i know that she is someone that are serious in relationship and want to stay in a long relationship that nver gives up so easily~

I want to hold on tight to her very very much, till one day i hold on to her too tight till i start to pressurize her.....

There's one day, when we go out with her cliques, there's a friend of her who is really really funny!!
I do admit it that he's damn funny~~
That causes me to waive, and make me really jealous and make me feel really sad~

I feel jealous and start to lose faith in myself is all because that I am very afraid of losing you~~
You told me that you have the like feeling towards but not sure if it's a crush~
Makes me worried, that what if the like feeling starts to disappear and i will nver have the chance to like you and be with you~

So one day i totally lose my cool and blow my top and start to scolded her and trash out every of how i feel~
And eventually i made her angry, very very very angry.....

At that point i do not know what have i done.....

All i think is of my own feelings, overprotective of my own feelings and i totally neglected her feelings~
It's all because of my stupid depression.......
I know it's stupid to use my depression as an excuse....
After i hurt her so much.....
I start to feel the intense pain in my heart, i totally regretted and feel really remorse....

I start to hate myself for the nasty i said, i totally feel like killing myself and stabbing myself for all the hurtful stuffs i said to her~~

I lose the trust between me and her.....
And how much i wish that this incident nver happened.....

I dunno what i should do to erase this incident and the thing that i hate her so much.....

But i know that no matter how much i try to salvage the situation, the scar will still remain between us, and it will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life.....

Despite all this, I will not give up so easily~
I will do my best to salvage the situation and prove to her and show her my determination how much i want to be with her, how much i want to show her how sorry i am~
I know that all her friends will have hate me and cursing and swearing me if they know what i did to her~
But please believe me that i am really sorry and it's because of how much i like her and how scared that i will lose her that make me lose my cool~
Please believe me that i will not do this again and please have faith in me that i am gonna treat her even better than ever
I swear and i promise!!!

Please give me a chance ALPX~~