More about me~

Finished talking about others.

Now let's talk about me ba.....

For the past few years, I had learnt a lot about life, about way of dealing stuffs and handling stuffs....

But actually, still now, I do not know how many right things that i had done in my life, because in my and other people memories, I had done and made lots of wrong decisions despite of many observing, listening and learning.....

People always tell me, believe in yourself and believe in your decision, and nver regret for any decisions that have been made....

But seriously speaking, it's really difficult and tough....

I have a dream...

I wanna be an inspiring person, i wanna be a awesome person and i wanna make people to look up to me for the things i had done and definitely be a impressive person.

So ever since I'm a cadet, I have been doing my very best in everything, I had achieved it, fitness, drills, campcraft, parade, leadership, charisma, and definitely confidence.

I always think that if I am the best in everything, in every area, I will be look up by people, but I'm absolutely wrong....

I had start to be arrogant, think too highly of myself, have strong self-esteem, and being self-centered.

I do not know why I'm like that, maybe is because that I look too highly of myself ba....

In the past few years, I had really met lots of awesome people that I trully look up to them alot, my instructors when I'm a cadets.

They are bunch of awesome people, damn zai, and the motivation for keeping me moving, as i wish to be like them when i graduate and wish to be like them.

During my CI life, I got this two senior of mine, called Wong Soo Hou, Alvin and Leon, they really taught me alot alot of things, especially for Alvin, he really taught me and guided me along in my 2 years of CI life, teaching and lecturing me for the wrong things that i had ever done. So really thank you and appreciate.

Then when I start to expose in HQ parade, I met this awesome person, called Rahimi Ramlan, when i first saw him, i was like omg, damn muscular, but that's not the point, i admire alot in his firmness and leadership and influential aura, making me look up to him.

I realised that NPCC had been revolving around my life, or perhaps my life had been revolving around NPCC.
I had done lots of HQ events, parades and ATC/STC.
If i really had the chance, I will like to have my soul flying back to my past looking at my past self, how i am in the past 3 years throughout my CI life.

Sometimes when people that had walked with me for the past 3 years, and when we talk about the past, it is really awesome talking and sharing about our achievement.

And definitely, in my CI life, there are lots of downfall too, all comes back to making wrong decision due to recklessness...

People forgive me, people hate me,people supporting me and people totally disagreeing of what i had done, no matter what, I regret of the stuffs that i had done, that's why when i know of anyone that start to do crazy stuffs or saying about giving up as CI, I will definitely wun wan them to do so or even share with them with my experience all these.

Sometimes, i have been wondering too, is it good thing to show people the weak side of us??
And sometimes i think, is it really good to put in our very best in everything, especially in relationships or trying to fix stuffs???
And even sometimes I wish that people will try to understand each other more....

But then....
You will nver know what kind of person the other person is, and what thing they are thinking in their mind...
I will hope that people will try to know me more and know of my intention.....
But, who will try to believe me,trust me and willing to understand me and know more about me.....
Difficult ba......

I hope that everything will turn out well for everyone.